The relationship that landed me in the women’s shelter had gone on for over 4 years. This man came into my life while I was living in an apartment. He was a relative of a neighbor I had befriended. This man quickly manipulated his way into my life.
I was having issues with another male neighbor and this new man became my protector. Before I knew it, he was living with me. Little by little, he had started controlling my life. His ‘anxiety’ stopped us from hanging out with my friends. His ‘anxiety and fear of losing me’ was his excuse for getting angry when it would take me more than an hour to get my nails done. He didn’t trust that I could go anywhere on my own.
He would have outburst of anger if things didn’t go his way. An example, he was loading his truck on a dolly one day and the ramp bent. He got out and beat his truck with a logging chain. An apology would always follow and I forgave. Thinking I could help him or fix him.
The last six months of our relationship took a downhill turn rapidly. I had noticed his sarcasm had become mean. There was money missing and other personality changes. While he was away at a job, I went looking around in the shop. I found a meth pipe. My whole world crumbled. I was scared. This man had no problems over the years telling me what he had done to other women. The fear was implanted pretty deep. I told him I wanted him out. He could have his things and leave. He told me he was coming for more than that and he was headed home immediately. At this point, I called the police. They told him not to show up at my home or contact me.
That’s when the threats started. Over the next 6 weeks, he terrorized me. He would send me messages telling me the cops wouldn’t get there in time to save me. I had pages and pages of disgusting vile messages. I was able to get a 10 year protection order against him. Court for that was on Friday about lunch time. The following Monday night, this man broke thru my back patio and proceeded to try and break down my back door. I was awakened by my ADT alarm going off.
I jumped out of bed, grabbed my 9mm, called 911 and waited for him come thru my door. I stood there knowing it was going to be him or me. I can’t explain the fear or feeling I had that night. After a couple of minutes, the pounding stopped. The police had arrived. My outside cameras videoed him entering and leaving my property. The following morning, he posted a video on Facebook, waving a gun around and saying it was all my fault and he was coming for me or the police. For a second time, I was rushed to the women’s shelter.
For the next couple of days, he was in hiding. The police were able to ping his phone and track him down. After a 3 hour standoff with SWAT, he was taken into custody. Now it was my time heal. The shelter had been my safe haven thru this. I don’t know what the outcome would have been if I hadn’t a place to go to be safe. I’m still in therapy. They have helped me recover from this.