Written by John McGee
Early in my career I attended a conference in which one of the speakers indicated that the agency he worked for did not have a planned giving program. Their reasoning was they hoped to solve the problem before they would realize any significant revenue from estate gifts.
Unfortunately, that is not the case when one looks at the problem of domestic or sexual abuse and violence. Evidence would suggest that it will be quite some time before cultural norms, behavior, and expectations change enough to eliminate the practice of one trying to dominant or have power over another. It will be some time before healthy relationship education and training will take hold across the generations and the inter-generational exposure to abusive relationship will be outlived.
I mention this not because I want people to see the magnitude of the challenge society has to eliminate domestic abuse/violence and sexual assault; rather, for one to understand how courageous an individual is who tries to break out of an abusive relationship. While all involved in abuse prevention work strive to create an environment that encourages those courageous steps, more needs to be done. This work needs to be done not only by organizations involved in the work but by individuals, corporations, churches, and community groups who interact with those who are striving to live a life free of violence and abuse.
Support systems need to be strengthened. Awareness education needs to be enhanced. Programs and polices need to be in place to ensure that when one decides to break from an abusive relationship, they can succeed. Employers need to know how to respond in a supportive and constructive manner when one of their own finds themselves in an abusive relationship.
One of the things we do as do most domestic violence shelters is to work with those who come to us for support in understanding that they are not to blame for the behavior of their abuser. The abuser chooses to be abusive and chooses abusive and offensive behavior as a way of exerting control over them.
Just understanding and accepting that can be liberating. It enables one to begin the process of fulfilling their personal promise and potential. This process is not easy. It may require a significant change in an individual’s mindset and those types of changes do not occur overnight.
Consequently, for NWAWS and our fellow domestic violence shelters, our staff is our program. They work with those in need to help them make the journey to a violence and abuse free life—a journey that may take years to accomplish. As a result, services need to be provided inside and outside of the sheltered environment. This journey may have many fits and starts and hills and valleys, but it is one well worth taking.
Keeping a shelter staffed 24/7 during 365 days a year is expensive. It requires the financial support of the community served. We cannot deny that the community benefits when an individual breaks the bonds of an abusive relationship and becomes a self-supportive, contributing member of that community. It benefits when an individual with children can start modeling a healthy relationship to their children, lessening the likelihood of inter-generational transfer of abusive behavior.
The return on your investment in a domestic violence program is not measured in dollars returned but in lives saved, futures improved, and promises and potential met.
There is no time like the present to invest in your local domestic violence shelter and the work they do.
We invite you to partner with NWA Women’s Shelter as we work to give victims and survivors of domestic violence the tools to build lives free from abuse for themselves and their families. Each day we work to give hope. Would you become a partner of hope with us? Visit our donation page to find out how you can get involved by meeting our tangible needs. Interested in volunteering? Check out our volunteer page, as well.