Would You Recognize a Victim of Domestic Abuse?
(Written by John C. McGee, Executive Director)
When the Ray Rice story broke about his physical abuse of his then-fiancée, Janay, individuals could clearly say that his behavior was abusive.
In many ways the Ray Rice story distorts the image of domestic abuse and reverts it back to the world of violence and battery. Many websites, including a prominent philanthropic foundation in Arkansas that focuses on elevating women, refer to shelters as “battered women’s shelters.” The continued reference to physical violence and obvious markings shapes the impression many people have of domestic abuse. I know I was one of them.
Before I became actively involved with domestic abuse prevention, my impression of a domestic violence victim was someone who had been beaten and battered – you know the broken arm, the black eye and blooded lip. Over time I came to realize that image represented only a small portion of those who are abused. However our state laws continue to enforce this misconception. Even Arkansas Code Title 9, Chapter 4, defines domestic abuse as:
(A) Physical harm, bodily injury, assault between family or household members;
(B) The infliction of fear of imminent physical harm, bodily injury, or assault between family or household members.
The legal definition does not describe what domestic abuse can actually look like. It clearly does not define what the ‘infliction of fear of imminent physical harm’ means. Can you look at an individual and determine if they have been a victim of domestic abuse?
Could you tell if the person next to you in the check-out line is suffering from the “fear of imminent physical harm?” After all she/he is simply shopping. Nothing looks out of the ordinary. What about a neighbor who is walking with her children? What identifies a domestic abuse victim?
Domestic abuse is all about power and control. What does power over and control of a person look like? Are there warning signs (red flags) indicating that a person is in an abusive relationship? What signs could an outsider clearly observe and determine that a friend, family member, or acquaintance is in an abusive relationship? Abuse is not always physically observable.
Only through education awareness programs in the schools, community groups, and faith communities (all of which staff of the Northwest Arkansas Women’s Shelter are willing to provide or facilitate) can the image of what constitutes domestic abuse be changed.
Numerous organizations have come into existence around the country to help that educational process. You, residents of NWA, have some resources, including the Northwest Arkansas Women’s Shelter, that can help right here in our community.
If you are interested in answering the opening question with a resounding “YES,” call the NWA Women’s Shelter to get additional information or to arrange programs or a presentation: 479-246-0353 (office), 479-246-9999 (crisis hotline).
For another perspective of what domestic abuse “looks” like, consider reading a personal story at http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/how-i-got-ptsd-my-marriage.