NWA Gives

NWA Gives is April 4th!


It’s the greatest day in NWA! You’re invited to join the epic 12 hours of giving on Thursday, April 4th from 8 am to 8 pm. This is a day in which the amazing Northwest Arkansas community comes together to raise much-needed funds for local nonprofits. We are participating this year and there will be many ways you can help us reach our fundraising goals.

Be on the lookout for emails from us and be sure to follow us on social media for more details to come.

SAVE THE DATE: September 28, 2024 | 6-9 pm | 21C Bentonville

We are excited to announce the 15th Annual Fresh Start – our 2024 Signature fundraising event! We hope you can join us for a night of honoring the courage of our clients and raising money to support the programs of the NWA Women’s Shelter.

Presented by


Our honorary chairpersons Venessa Yates & Whitney Cooper invite you to participate in an evening full of glitz, glamour, & gaming!

There will be casino game tables featuring poker, blackjack, roulette, & craps. In addition to gaming, we will have complimentary wine & beer, heavy hors d’oeuvres, a jam-packed silent auction, and more! Each ticket comes with gaming chips and more will be available for purchase. At the end of the night, the attendee with the most “winnings” will win a fantastic prize!

General Tickets – $75 per person
Each Ticket Includes:
$100 in Gaming Chips
Complimentary Wine & Beer*
Heavy Hors D’oeuvres*
Silent Auction*
Chances to Win Prize(s) with “Winnings”*
*Also included with VIP Tickets

VIP Tickets – $175 per person
Each Ticket Includes:
$350 in Gaming Chips
1-Hour Early Access
Exclusive Lounge & Gaming Tables
Dedicated VIP Bar
3 Cocktail Tickets
Swag Bag

Coming soon!

Content Warning: This post contains discussions of domestic violence.

The correlation between mental health and domestic violence is multifaceted and often cyclical. Individuals who experience domestic violence, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, often suffer from significant mental health issues due to the trauma they endure. It’s crucial to recognize that addressing both mental health and domestic violence is essential for breaking the cycle of abuse and promoting healing and recovery for survivors.

Domestic violence is associated with a range of physical and mental health effects. Being a victim of domestic violence is linked to an increased risk for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and suicide. Exposure to traumatic events can lead to stress, fear, and isolation, which may lead to depression and suicidal thoughts or behavior.

According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), 20% of survivors develop mental health conditions. These include:

  • Major depressive disorder
  • Generalized anxiety disorder
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Substance use disorders

The APA also states that survivors of domestic violence may blame themselves for the abuse they received. They can become self-critical, self-destructive, and suicidal. Chronic abuse can create trauma responses that interfere with future relationships. Survivors may struggle with emotional regulation, dissociation, and numbing, and have trouble reading social cues.

Researchers have found that mental health outcomes of domestic violence can become a vicious cycle. Survivors can believe they are powerless to control violent behavior or to develop resources to change their situation. This can potentially set up a long-term pattern of violent partnerships.

Violence also affects the children of those involved. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), children of people experiencing abuse are more likely to be abused. They also tend to have poorer school performance than their peers and higher rates of illness, including depression and anxiety. Witnessing domestic abuse is considered an adverse childhood experience (ACE). Such toxic stress in early life is linked to several negative health outcomes in adulthood, ranging from depression and substance use disorder to diabetes and heart disease.

Treating the Mental Health Effects of Domestic Violence

Mental health professionals who treat survivors of violence often use a trauma-informed approach. When counseling patients, they consider the distress the patient experienced and how it shapes the person’s beliefs and behavior. This approach focuses on creating a sense of safety and empowerment for patients. In treatment, patients can strengthen communication, learn stress management, and reduce feelings of isolation. Such skills may protect against future incidences of domestic violence.

In addition to individual counseling, group therapy can be helpful for survivors. In the context of a group, they can learn from others’ experiences and can shed feelings of isolation and secrecy.

At Northwest Arkansas Women’s Shelter, we are committed to providing support to survivors, including mental health services. Every client can receive free individual therapeutic services so that they can begin to understand, resolve, and heal from the trauma they have experienced specifically domestic violence-related trauma. We also offer a weekly support group where clients learn skills to help them cope with past experiences while building healthy relationships and a community with other clients. Support group also allows survivors to have a confidential setting to connect with other survivors who have experienced domestic violence.

For more information about these programs, please email us at info@nwaws.org.

Content Warning: This post and the articles discussed/linked contain discussions of domestic violence.

One in four American women will experience violence from a domestic partner in their lifetime, often resulting in significant trauma to the head and neck known as a traumatic brain injury. It is estimated that millions of women experience traumatic brain injuries (TBI) due to domestic violence (DV) every year and over 75% of domestic violence survivors suffer single or repeated traumatic brain injuries, most of which go unreported.

For many survivors of domestic violence, the impact of TBI on thinking and memory lasts long after the abuse ends. Even mild cases of traumatic brain injury, like concussion, can impart significant and long-lasting issues, and a single incident in which TBI occurs can result in long-term cognitive damage. Repeated physical abuse can accelerate the development of neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s and may even result in chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a fatal form of progressive brain degeneration that can only be diagnosed after death.

Despite these alarming statistics, the relationship between TBI and domestic violence remains largely unknown and critically under-researched. The connection between the two may be obvious in retrospect, but until these injuries are consistently screened for in domestic violence cases and also more regularly discussed, they cannot be addressed as they need to be. Talking about domestic violence is difficult, and many women may struggle to share their stories due to stigma, the threat of partner retaliation, and/or the lack of accessible medical care.

Raising awareness of the signs of domestic abuse can help more women come forward and receive the care and support they need – but the right systems must be in place for that to happen. Here at Northwest Arkansas Women’s Shelter, we are committed to providing that care and support and ensuring those systems are readily available for those who need them. In addition to funding research to better understand the connections between DV-TBI and CTE, people can support survivors by educating themselves about the signs of domestic violence and traumatic brain injury, how the two are connected, and championing domestic violence prevention organizations like ours.

For more information and resources about this subject please visit these web pages:

Written by Triniti Horner

Every college student knows the feeling of the spring semester. As it begins, students are fueled by the disdain for having to do anything after a three-week break. Spending the holidays with our families, eating too much food, and napping as much as possible and now professors want me to THINK for a living? No way. Alas, we must move on and look forward to warmer weather, and, if we’re lucky, a summer internship. As a Family and Human Services major, summer internships for my field in Northwest Arkansas are few and far between. Looking for internships is no easy feat. To decide whether or not you want to work for the state, a non-profit or a church, for money or for experience, inside or outside, administratively or hands-on – you get the idea. Amidst loads of coursework, we cast a wide net, hoping to catch one or two fish. 

Thankfully, I landed the job here at NWA Women’s Shelter (NWAWS). The work this organization does is crazy important, and I’m not just saying that because I have to. Our goal is to fight back against domestic violence. This can include but is not limited to, physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, cultural, or digital abuse. Domestic abuse comes in many shapes and sizes; our shelter seeks to recognize the nuances of abuse and provide the services that are necessary for our survivors. Our shelter is one of two in Northwest Arkansas. To explain why this is important, I will now throw some numbers at you, so be prepared for that. More than half a million people live in Northwest Arkansas, and about 40,000 people have or will experience domestic abuse whether that be from an intimate partner or someone else in their family. In Arkansas, 41% of females and 35% of males will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lives. (NCADV, 2020) With NWA being one of the most popular places to be in Arkansas, the number of people our shelter will serve is continually increasing. We are the only shelter in our area that serves clients who are escaping anything other than intimate partner violence. We love to help anyone who doesn’t feel safe in their homes and creates a place of safety for themselves and for their families.  

Now that we have the numbers out of the way, what I would like to share with you readers are some of the questions that have come up for me over my past month working here. Why are you doing what you do? How are you showing up for the people around you and for yourself? How can I make a difference? I know these are simple questions, but for me, they have complex answers. Life can become monotonous. Waking up, going to work, eating the same lunch every day (shoutout to Walmart’s chicken salad), driving home, making dinner, watching TV, going to bed, and then repeating. The lifestyle many of us live and find boring at times, is one of privilege. Over the past couple of years, I have been learning to see where privilege shows up. Our nation has seen a lot of this in political, macro-sized conversations, but I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about micro-sized privilege in our day-to-day lives.  

Why Are You Doing What You Do? 

The people we serve in our shelters are fleeing for their lives. Each day is a fight to regain their life and freedom to be in charge of all areas of their personhood. This has pushed me to consider why I want to work for NWAWS. I am the Development and Thrift Store intern this summer. Thrift store? You may be asking, “Why do you work at a thrift store?” and honestly, I asked myself that, too. The NWAWS Thrift Store provides one of the most consistent and vital sources of revenue that helps the shelter to serve their clients. While at first glance, it may look like working retail (and I do get some experience with that), it is about the “why” we sift through bins of clothing, price them fairly, organize, hang them up, stand on our feet all day, smile when customers give us a hard time, and lift heavy boxes filled with donations. It will help us to better serve the men, women, and children who aren’t safe. Being involved, no matter how small it may seem, serves a larger purpose whenever we are fully committed to the mission. I’ve decided to work for NWAWS because I am fully committed to the mission of the shelter and will do whatever it takes to make sure people are cared for.  

 “How am I Showing up for the People Around Me and Myself?” 

Oftentimes, I gauge how well I am showing up for others based on their responses to me. How others are around me, how they speak to me, and how we interact are all parts of this question. While working at the thrift store, I have the opportunity to get to know the women (and men!) that are part of making all that the shelter does possible. All of their personalities are beautiful and have something unique to bring to our work at NWAWS. They are all passionate, driven, hard-working, chatty, and fully themselves. But, as we all know, working with other people is hard. It’s hard to put up with their feelings as well as our own. It’s hard to know how our tone comes across when we speak to one another. It’s hard to communicate clearly and effectively, especially with new co-workers. It’s hard to show up personally and professionally. We’ve all had our moments at work where we were done and wanted to do nothing but lie on the couch and watch our favorite comfort show. However, working with other people is also beautiful. We learn, laugh, grow, and live life alongside each other. We get united under a specific and important goal. We get to see others thrive and do their work well. To me, that is what motivates me to go to work every day. I get to show up for others and in the process learn something deeper about myself. Whether I learn that I’m not awful at designing a graphic on Canva or that I am clumsy when people are watching me do a simple task, I am growing. Constantly blossoming into a better version of myself causes me to pour that goodness into my work. That’s how I want to show up for myself and others, in a way that fosters a further understanding of my coworkers as well as myself.  

How do I Make a Difference? 

The simple, yet complex answer I have come up with is: just be you. We live in a time when it feels hard to be unique. Social media has shown us what is popular, gets the most likes, and is most common. To stand out would be a risk. To be different is simultaneously praised and demeaned. What I would like to see in myself is the ability to take risks for causes that I am passionate about. Risks can be a plethora of different things. It can be the risk of volunteering—what some would consider “wasting” my own time. Or it could be the risk of using my knowledge of Spanish to speak to people in my second language, running the risk of messing up and offending someone. Whatever a risk looks like to you, I would encourage you to take it. Life is too short to be worried about what everyone else is doing. We are only in control of ourselves and how we are utilizing our time, privilege, and energy to make a difference in the lives of others.  

So yeah, that’s what I’ve learned working here at the NWAWS. If anything I said resonates with you, please feel free to reach out to us and get more involved in what we do here. We love volunteers at our Thrift Store and are always willing to help when we are able to do so.  

Click here for more information on volunteering or email Amber to get connected.  

When you hear the term “domestic abuse”, what first comes to mind? Many of us first think of bruises and marks that come with a physical altercation. Maybe you also thought about financial control and emotional abuse that survivors so often report facing in their homes. 

Often, we forget that spiritual abuse, or religious abuse, can be a part of the power & control dynamics in an abusive relationship—whether a romantic relationship, between family members, or between others in a household.  While the news often references spiritual abuse in relation to religious leaders using controlling and abusive tactics with their parishioners or members (which is a serious issue), spiritual abuse by a partner or family member easily slips under the radar for many.

What is Spiritual Abuse?

Sometimes the best explanation is a story.

“Kathy” married her abusive husband after he pressured her to get married because of her religious beliefs. After being married a short time, he began isolating her and would not take her to church gatherings until it was far too late. After a few months of this, Kathy was so embarrassed that she stopped attending church and other gatherings all together. She could not talk freely about her relationship with others because her husband always found a reason to be in the room when she was on the phone or visiting. Eventually she opened up during a private conversation with a family member, who encouraged Kathy to leave. However, when she told her husband she wanted a divorce, he taunted her saying that she would go to hell for getting a divorce according to her beliefs.

Read Kathy’s full story here

Put simply, spiritual abuse involves controlling how and/or whether or not someone is able to practice their religion freely or using religion to manipulate or control that individual. Many times, religious texts are used to rationalize abusive behaviors and make those behaviors seem like they are okay, or even encouraged. Some abusers prevent their partner from fully participating in their religion (for example preventing them from participating in services or scheduled prayers). Other times, an abuser may sabotage their partner’s attempt to follow their religion, like preventing them from following dietary guidelines. Abusive people may also force their partner or family member into participating in certain activities (e.g. baptism) without their consent.

Regardless of how it happens, using religion as a tool to manipulate, coerce, threaten, or intimidate someone else is never okay.

While spiritual abuse normally is accompanied by other types of abuse (e.g. emotional abuse, financial control, intimidation, etc.), it can have serious implications on its own and it can be one of the biggest barriers for leaving an abusive situation. Many religious communities place a high value on the family unit and keeping marriages intact. Though not inherently a bad thing, these values often create additional barriers for a victim of abuse from reaching out for help or seeking safety, as it did in the case of Kathy. This is why it is so important for religious leaders of all types to be educated about domestic abuse and how to respond to it appropriately within their religious community.

What Can Religious Leaders Do?

Perhaps most critically, it is important for religious leaders to be informed about the dynamics of domestic violence so that when, not if, they encounter a member who is experiencing abuse, they actually help the situation instead of creating further harm. Many women who are religious will first reach out to a religious leader for assistance (1). However, many faith leaders report they lack knowledge about the dynamics of abuse or about local resources available to survivors of abuse (2).

With many abusers hiding in their religious communities, it is also crucial for pastors, clerics, and religious leaders to speak out against abuse from the pulpit. It is important for religious leaders to use language that is sensitive to the needs and concerns of survivors in how they speak. One report found that only 1/3 of Protestant pastors speak to their congregation more than once per year about domestic and sexual violence (2). If faith leaders rarely address the issue and are not cognizant of how their language may minimize or blame abuse on victims rather than abusive partners, they effectively send a message that abuse is acceptable and normal.

Because abusive partners are often completely different behind closed doors than they are at the synagogue, church, or mosque, many survivors of abuse are rightfully concerned they will not be believed by the people who worship and serve alongside their partner each week. Abusers are often very charming people of whom others think very highly. They also tend to isolate their victims from their support networks. So when a faith community refuses to believe that a member could be abusing their partner or children at home, they inadvertently isolate the victim even more.

Another problem is that well-meaning pastors and religious leaders frequently encourage counseling for couples who are looking at divorce or separation. This can be great for couples where abuse is not a factor. However, if abuse for couples where abuse is a factor, couples counseling will be detrimental if anything (3). The reason for this is because abuse is not a “couple’s issue” as so often is assumed; it is a personal issue that only the abusive person can be responsible for solving.

Rather than encouraging or performing couples’ counseling, religious leaders can encourage their parishioners experiencing abuse to receive individual counseling from someone who specializes in trauma and is familiar with domestic abuse. They can also help the abusive partner, if truly willing to change, to seek out specialized therapy for abusers that will address the power and control issues at the root. Most importantly, religious leaders and members of a faith community can hold abusive people accountable for their actions and ensure the person being abused is safe and supported during this process, acknowledging that being safe can mean separating from an abusive partner, sometimes permanently.

Religious communities have the opportunity to be a supportive and healing space for individuals who have experienced abuse. However, they can also perpetuate more harm than good without education and processes in place to best support victims of domestic violence. Navigating this can be difficult, but we can help.

Next Steps

At NWAWS we believe that everyone deserves the ability to freely express their faith and follow their spiritual beliefs without religion being used as a tool to trap them in an abusive situation. If you are experiencing spiritual abuse and would like to talk to someone, our confidential hotline is open 24/7 and our advocates are happy to speak with you.

If you are a religious leader or would like more information about supporting survivors of spiritual abuse, email Amber at alacewell@nwaws.org. We’d love to connect and support you as you seek to support survivors in your own community.

For further reading about spiritual abuse, domestic violence, and the faith community, visit these resources:

National Network to End Domestic Violence: https://nnedv.org/latest_update/domestic-violence-faith/

FaithTrust Institute: http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/

Jewish Women International: https://www.jwi.org/

Sojourners Women & Girls Project: https://sojo.net/join/campaigns/women-girls


References:
  1. http://religionanddiversity.ca/media/uploads/projects_and_results/biblio_and_case_law/strand_three_violence_and_religion_phase_1.pdf
  2. “Broken Silence: A Call for Churches to Speak Out.” IMA World Health, We Will Speak Out U.S., Sojourners. https://sojo.net/resources/broken-silence-call-churches-speak-out-survey
  3. A Policy Statement on Domestic Violence Couples Counseling: http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/resources/articles/Policy-Statement-onDV-Couples-Counseling.pdf

Jordan was 9 when he and his 5-year-old sister, Susie, started coming to an outreach group at the shelter.  In the first several child support groups Jordan attended, he glorified his dad’s aggressive and abusive behaviors. He had learned that he wanted to be mean and tough like dad, despite seeing the violence in his home. About mid-year, Jordan began viewing his world and his parent’s relationship in a different way.

During one group session with Rachael, our Child Advocate, Jordan told her he was tired of being known as the bully at school. He was tired of always getting into trouble in school. He knew he had issues with his anger, and he wanted to be different.

Jordan’s mom and Rachael talked about options for individual therapy, and Rachael began talking with Jordan over the summer. They talked about domestic violence, the cycle of violence, anger, anger control, assertiveness, and self-esteem. Once school began, Jordan started seeing an outreach counselor. Toward the end of the year, after continuing in individual counseling and continuing to attend our child domestic violence support group, Jordan decided, at the age of 10, he no longer wanted to be a bully. He chose to have friends instead of no friends.

By the end of the year, Jordan told everyone in group that he has not been sent to the principal’s office once. And he has friends in school. He’s not seen as the class bully anymore!

Community supporters and sponsors like you helped to raise over $100,000 at the 7th Fresh StART Art Auction presented by Mars, Inc. This equates to 1,000 nights of safety for our neighbors in NWA. During the event, Wendy, a courageous survivor who shared how NWAWS provided the space for her and her two children to create a new story of hope and healing.

A special thank you to our Featured Artist, Stacy Bates, as well as our Honorary Co-Chairs, Deanah Baker and Megan Crozier, for all of their support leading up to and at the event.

Harvey and Andrea Millar

Harvey and Andrea Millar

Stacy Bates

Stacy Bates

Megan Crozier and Deanah Baker

Megan Crozier and Deanah Baker

Missed the event? You can check out more pictures here!

Deanah Baker, SVP-GMM, Apparel at Walmart, has been volunteering for the NWA Women’s Shelter as an active member of the Board of Directors since early 2016. She currently serves on the Fresh StART committee and, along with Megan Crozier, she will be one of the Honorary Co-Chairs of this year’s Fresh StART event being held on October 14. Deanah explains why this cause is important to her,

My husband was in education for 25+ years and his passion was in getting to know his students and their personal stories.  He has so many examples of brave young people who struggled in their home life due to various circumstances, including abuse in the home.  While Northwest Arkansas is an amazing community with so much to offer, the statistic remains that 1 in 5 people are victims of domestic violence.  My goal is to see all of our NWA neighbors thriving; not living their lives in fear or feeling helpless and alone in changing their situation.  Our strong NWA community can come alongside the Northwest Arkansas Womens Shelter to give victims of domestic violence safety, hope and support for a new beginning.

Deanah has used her skills and her position on the board over the past year to help move the NWA Women’s Shelter out of its financial crisis and begin moving toward sustainability. As a part of these efforts, Deanah hosted a private fundraising party this spring and has raised more than $22,000 in 2017 for programs and services provided through NWAWS.

You can meet Deanah at Fresh StART or look for other ways to get connected with NWAWS by visiting our volunteer page.

 

Handworks

When our new friends at Handworks learned that our shelter was at full capacity and running out of toilet paper, they decided to kick off their NWAWS partnership with a toilet paper drive. Donors who dropped of toilet paper to the Handworks Bentonville store received a special gift – a free candle. NWAWS received three car loads of toilet paper thanks to this donation drive! Handworks will continue to partner with NWAWS and host donation drives with a special incentive for donors, so stay tuned for more from this gift store that gives back.

(P.S. If you drop off a donation of bath towels, paper towels or disinfectant spray to Handworks in Bentonville you can receive a free summer votive.)

Church Friends

We are grateful to receive support from many church partners and there are two who went above and beyond and involved kids last month: First United Methodist Church-Downtown Bentonville and NW Kids (NW Assembly).

First United Methodist Church-Downtown Bentonville featured the Northwest Arkansas Women’s Shelter as one of their partners for the week of Mighty Missions Vacation Bible School in mid-July. Amber Lacewell, our Director of Community Outreach & Education, was a visiting “Hero” and shared the NWAWS mission with the children as well as how they can support other kids who might have to stay in our shelter. Throughout the week, the FUMC kids collected backpacks and school supplies and assembled them for the kids in shelter. By the end of the week, they filled up a car with all of the school supplies! To learn more about this activity, check out the FUMC|Downtown Bentonville blog.

The Kids at NW Assembly focused on making a difference all summer long and NWAWS had the privilege of being one of the last partners. We spoke at Wednesday Night Live, ate nwaws-make-a-difference-nw-kidspizza, and had the kids assemble backpacks with school supplies they had collected all summer. When the night was over, they sent us back to shelter with 50 backpacks ready for our kids! The NW Kids were so enthralled when we shared about the shelter and showed them pictures of the rooms–they especially loved that we have a teen room  designed just for kids like them and a computer lab for everyone! The kids were so inquisitive, we probably could have stayed all night answering their questions.

Brighton Hand Bag Trade-In

We received nearly 100 well-loved and gently used handbags from Brighton Collectible’s Handbag Trade-In event. Some of the bags went to our Thrift Store to be purchased by customers or clients shopping on our voucher system. Seventeen brand-name bags in excellent condition will be auctioned off online for an online Labor Day Sale. Stay tuned for more information and to snag a gently used bag at a fantastic price. Thanks to all who donated their bags at this event!

 

It is so fun and encouraging watching others in the community-especially kids-rally behind the Northwest Arkansas Women’s Shelter. We appreciate everyone’s support and look forward to on-going partnerships!

 

We would love to come speak to your group, please reach out to Amber Lacewell: alacewell@nwaws.org.

Have an idea for a 3rd Party initiative? Please connect with us or visit our Support Our Shelter page.